Cotton Candy Copy
- Khushi Lunkad
- Oct 8
- 6 min read
Updated: Oct 9
I have a serious problem.
It's when copy is full of feelings like "this is the best software for" or "you'll double revenue by x".
Everything is disputable. That's cotton candy copy.
This is my plea to.... stop writing such copy?
To describe Streamline's Flex icon sets, we've said something like this. Go ahead, try and read it!!
"Flex redefines icons with smooth, flowing curves, moving beyond rigid structures for a more natural, dynamic aesthetic. Designed on a 14px grid, it brings fluidity and elegance to any design. With adjustable size, stroke, and color, these icons adapt seamlessly to any project.
How enjoyable was the reading experience for you? It wasn't for me.
Every set in Streamline comes with a color editor so you can change colors.
It’s cotton candy copy because it tries to say too many things at once using vague adjectives.
Every icon is supposedly seamless to integrate (atleast in Streamline).
14px is redundant. It exists as a separate line item on the page anyway.
Flex is a wonderful set, and the description doesn't do it justice.
[Please know that Streamline was ok for me to share WIP projects and share my learnings with the world. Companies may differ so check your legal contracts.]
Now, read something like this,
"Bobbie Organic Whole Milk Infant Formula is the first and only American-manufactured, USDA Organic whole milk infant formula and our closest to breast milk yet."
This copy is probably easier to read. It does a few things:
'first and only' explains your reason to exist.
'American-manufactured' is another USP
'closest to breast milk' is a visual metaphor that people can immediately understand
Let's look at another example along the lines of metaphors.
"AI-first UCaaS for team collaboration lets you work together without friction using Meetings, Chat, Docs, and more, all built into Zoom Workplace."
First of all, do you see the amount of text on this page? It's not meant for skim-reading (and most people skim read).
Zoom also uses jargon like 'UCaaS'. Do you know what is that?
See, I don't have any context on what this kind of copy is doing for Zoom. But, as someone with an opinion, I feel compelled to say, that I wouldn't want to write Streamline's copy like this.
It's an anti-inspiration of where we'd want to be as a product.
We don't want to overestimate what the customer knows, nor understimate their knowledge.
Let's take another example.
It's visual. It's concise. It's extreme. It tells everything the customer needs to know, in the fewest words possible.
Here's another one.
"Romance for one. Shop the Maven Dress from Reformation, a cap sleeve maxi dress with a mock neckline, drop waist, and pleating at the skirt."
It's visual. It's a metaphor. It's factual (cap sleeve maxi dress), with all details you can't immediately see.
It is not subjective. There is nothing on the copy that you can dispute.
Let's compare with another brand that is opinion-driven and is subjective.
"Loud, comfy & so much fun! Made from the softest fabric, it's like wearing a hug that's also chic. This is all you need to make a statement without saying a word. The statement? Being chic should always be this comfortable!"
There are too many adjectives. “Loud,” “comfy,” “fun,” “softest,” “chic,” “comfortable.” These are all subjective and mean nothing concrete. Who decided it's comfortable?
Tries too hard to sound fun.
You don’t learn anything about the product itself (style, silhouette, fabric type, structure).
Redundant and wordy. Repeats “chic” twice, uses clichés (“make a statement without saying a word”).
Exaggeration is ok. Subjective/opinionated isn't.
The reason why I'm sticking to fashion and beauty brands is because there's not a lot of differentiation. It's an over-saturated space. And yet, they have found a way to communicate clearly.
Software has so much more to offer. So, if copywriters get to know the product a bit deeper, we can write a lot more meaningful copy.
Let's take an example from rhode. They have a moisturizer, named as "glazing milk". The name alone is very visual!
The description is better!
The essential prep step for your skincare routine. Glazing Milk is a potent, nutrient-rich complex with a milky texture that leaves skin feeling hydrated and glowy while boosting the skin barrier over time.Notice the words used:
essential prep tells you when to use it
skincare routine tells you to add it to your routine
potent, nutrient rich, leaves skin feeling hydrated, boost skin barrier... all do things. They're active, factual and sensory. Not vague.
texture 'milky' is described visually
no repetition or any filler
Unlike Streamline, this is not wordy. Every sentence adds some meaning.
On the other hand, some brands use “perfect texture” or “incredible formula” or use adjectives that are subjective rather than objective.
Metaphors go a long way. Songwriters often use them.
This is one:
“You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive. As if it’s a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it. Not everyone has invested in you in order to be able to have the capital for you to care about this.”Compares energy as expensive. As a physical item.
I looked at the top Billboard songs and got ChatGPT to analyze it for metaphors. Here's what it found.
Song | Excerpt | Metaphor Explained |
Daisies – Justin Bieber | “We grew from the dirt, and I still see your roots in me.” | Concrete imagery (soil, roots) |
Lose Control – Teddy Swims | “I feel like a ghost without your breath.” | “Ghost without your breath” conveys dependence without adjectives. |
Soda Pop – Saja Boys | “We fizz till we’re flat / taste the rush then fade to black.” | Everyday object (soda) turned metaphor. Soda as a stand-in for youth, excitement, and burnout. Simple nouns (“fizz,” “flat”) do the emotional lifting; no subjective adjectives needed. |
I Got Better – Morgan Wallen | “Turned my heartbreak into horsepower.” | Uses a physical measure (“horsepower”) to depict inner change. |
Love Me Not – Ravyn Lenae | “I’m the echo in the canyon / you forgot to call back.” | Sound and distance depict rejection. |
Your Idol – Saja Boys | “Polished my pain till it gleamed like your chain.” | Turned something abstract (pain) into something visual (chain) |
If you have a favorite artist, take a look at their lyrics :)
Typically, I want to avoid jargon as best as possible. But sometimes you can still have jargon, if it has a novelty effect.
For example, Loro Piana describes their trousers as:
"Crafted for refined ease, the Coste trousers are knitted from pure vicuña – a precious fibre sourced from the Andean camelid, revered for its softness and natural warmth. The half-fisherman’s rib construction accentuates the sleek, tapered-leg silhouette, anchored by a flexible waistband. Considered details, like ribbed edges and subtle drop stitches, sign off the pair with the Maison’s characteristic savoir-faire."
It's long. But it's readable. Each word is unique. You may not know what 'Andean camelid' is but it's precise. It uses a real, specific term instead of a generic word like “rare animal” or “soft wool.”
“Andean” instantly paints a picture of mountains and altitude. You can almost feel the terrain.
It implies exclusivity through specificity. The reader senses luxury because few people know what a vicuña or Andean camelid is.
The expensive diction is still clear and literal. There is no fluff like “exquisite,” “beautiful,” or “perfect.”
You can only write non-subjective copy if you know the product well enough.
When you don't know the product, you gravitate towards writing subjective copy.
We invent feelings when they we don't have the facts. Knowledge makes copy concrete.
I've created a CustomGPT for myself with all examples. If you have a style you like, save the ideas somewhere on a Notion doc, and paste them into ChatGPT as a pdf to work on top off.
You'll be surprised at the results. ChatGPT gave me this copy for Flex,
"Flex is a fluid icon family inspired by nature’s curves. It replaces rigid geometry with smooth, flowing forms. It’s more organic and expressive than Core (neutral) but subtler than Plump (chunky, playful)."
It needs a few more tweaks before it's customer-facing.
But I'm pretty happy with the bot!
If you feel like, drop a comment below or say hi!